Boys Growing Up & Insecurities.
So yesterday myself and my boyfriend had a fight. Well not a fight really. He said something, I cried.
He was telling me all the reasons he fell in love with me. And I ended up (of course I would) talking about why he loved my curves. I mean really? And he said that when he was younger his ideal was a stick. Now it wasn’t that he said it, it was the way he said it.
He’s really good looking. And nice etc. But when he was a younger he was just a bit vain and only went for ‘the skinnys’. Now, of course, me being very emotional, got extremelyyyyyyyyyyy upset. That now I had to get thin for him? Well if that was the case, I would have left him then and there no matter how much I love him. MEN don’t treat girls like that.
He dated a girl for three years. Now I’m prettier than her (excuse me for sound like a c***, only say it cause she was a b**** to him for the last year). But she was short, 5 foot 3, I’m foot 10. And he used to like petite. But he kept apologising while I was crying and told me to listen.
He said I made him appreciate women. I made him appreciate bodies. I made him love his own body in return cause I love mine (apart from hips and thighs xo ha). He said that when we first met, he fell in love with me. My personality, smile, curves, height.. the whole lot. And just wanted to tell me in a nice way, that I helped him become a man. He broke up with his 3 year ex in September last year and we got together in June. He had begun drinking heavily and since meeting me has only drank alcohol around once a week. He used to be doing it four times a week. So, I saved his heart after all the crap he’s been through and I saved his health too. (Yay fitblrs, btw giving up alcohol myself, he’s going to try too :) )
Anyway. After we talked, I still felt like s***. Then I realised, RoRo. You did the EXACT SAME TO HIM. “All my exes where over 6 foot 2”, “Ooooh he’s so tall, yum”. Height to boys is the same as weight to girls. And the other way around. Its all to do with boy image. So I made him feel like crap. He was just telling me thanks for growing up.
Whenever we have.. oral sex. Both unicorns (virgins) and if no ones home and we’re upstairs, he’ll be naked. I’ll be in a nightdress. Still very insecure. But he makes me less insecure. “I love your curves, ass, hourglass figure, boooobies, arms and hands “-WHO SAYS ARMS AND HANDS? My baba does. Yep haha. He noticed them. Like wow. That was a good feeling, it was like, wow he loves me.
Its not like ‘OH he only likes skinny’! No. He grew up. He likes all bodies - Well just mine for now.. ??? haa.
No we’re not breaking up. He also keeps mentioning marriage, even though its very early on lol. I’m glad we talked about it. I told him my ambition to get fit. And that that almost screwed me up, that I wasn’t getting fit but just getting fit for ME. Will I always be with him? Hopefully. But my health is my own. Nothing to do with him. Its hard knowing that was his ideal. But I’m not changing for him and he doesn’t want me too. But I want to get fit and feel good. It will be good for me and good for our relationship if I’m more confident. I know he said it in the wrong way. But he loves me. I made him grow up, get healthier, appreciate people for who they are. And I don’t know how but I feel even more in love now. I told him I need him to support me for not just fitness but everything. He said the same. And for now things are great.
Its about him growing up and loving his body and appreciating everyone elses.
And the same goes for me. He’s half an inch shorter than me? Boo hoo. He treats me like a Princess, is able to talk about this extremely emotional topic and love my body? Yeah I love him. A lot.